The Day of Love

So here I am, quite possibly more bored than I have ever been (and that's saying something)listening to mine and my roommate's playlist aptly named "I hate Valentine's Day!" thinking about how much I hate Valentine's day. The current song is "You give love a bad name" by Bon Jovi (My fav). I didn't know that a person could feel such contempt for a day, but here I am loathing everything that signifies love. I didn't come to this feeling on my own, but rather I've been conditioned to hate V-Day since I was in 5th grade. I liked a boy and he gave a teddy bear to another girl. It's been all down hill from there. I just feel like living in Provo I am constantly already aware that I don't have a flashy diamond on my left hand and a baby growing in my belly and this day just makes it 10 times worse. It's not that I don't apprecite love, I love love as a matter of fact just not when it is embodied by a couple making out in front of me and the light turns green and then I'm stuck until they're done. It happened on the way to church and I did not handle it well. I know that I should be happy for all of you that have found "the one", but for this one day I kinda hate you. Don't take it offensively, I'll be over it on Tuesday when I'm in a chocolate coma and my eyes are red from sobbing. I know one day I will meet a boy and then I'll be the one making single people throw up in their mouths because I'm so in love I can hardly stand it. But until then I will hate Valentine's Day with my entire black heart and soul. I might boo people coming home from dates or throw stinky socks at people on the street who look like they might be in love. I'm not a psycho, just a girl who has had her heart trampled a time or two or ten, but who's counting... So all of you love birds out there, I know it's your day, but show some sympathy to those of us who are ridin solo. I'll do my part and stay home will the blinds closed and my anti-love music blaring, just don't let me hear you giggling on the door step across the hall or a pineapple might hit you in the face. One day I'll join you, but for now I hate you and everything you choose to be.

What a Day!

Yesterday was a busy day. My sister is in town for the weekend and I turned her into my personal slave. I think she kinda liked it. Our first mission was to beautify my classroom. I am probably the coolest teacher ever, but I wanted to make the kids believe it.
Here are some of the new additions.














My kids draw me pictures of the most random things. I have everything from a ninja army to a bowl of Capn Crunch. They will come running into the classroom during passing period and say, "I drew this for you during class." They love that I immediately clmb on the cupboard and hang it up or if I'm feeling really nice I'll let them put it up. It's so fun!


I love my posters, especially my huge Rosie the Riveter. Of course I stare at Jimmer all day long. I want my kids to see that all kinds of people can be our heroes. I love Einstein as much as I love Mohammed Ali.

I'm sure this probably isn't very exciting, but right now I'm at school for almost 12 hours a day so it's kinda my life. I'm trying to make it a place that reflects who I am, but also where my kids feel safe; even if it is only for 45 minutes.


I was so glad my sister was able to come and see what I do. My roommate Michelle, aka the sweetest person alive, also came to help. We had fun and I loved spending the day with my two favorite people in the universe. They spent three hours helping me with everything.


After that, Janell helped me clean my room and get rid of a bunch of stuff. I'm not gonna lie, my room was GAARRROSS! I'm not home very much so I hadn't really noticed until Janell barfed in her mouth when she walked in. I am so lucky to have the best big sister alive. She is the best example of service and kindness I have ever seen. I know it doesn't seem like much, but I was overwhelmed with everything and now I feel like I'm kinda on top of things.
Thanks sissy poo!

Ummm....

Today in class some boys were giving a presentation about the end of WWI.

"The United States helped end the war by giving the allies planes, army, and aids." (They had written this on their power point)
SAY WHAT?!?
"Boys I think you meant to say aid as in money because we did not infect Europe with aids or any other disease."
"Couldn't they have gotten aids in the trenches?"
"Just sit down and be done, thanks."



That was my day in a nut shell. I have been sick and miserable and have been wanting to sleep every minute of the day. I have a slight ear infection so I can't hear anything. Today a kid mumbled and said, "Is he gay?" I had no idea what he said so I just nodded. OOPS!

I am really looking forward to this weekend because I just want my mommy and grandma to take care of me! I have the best mom in the world and the only thing I want is to have her cook me some soup and help me do my laundry.

PS I know I'm whiny when I'm sick, sorry about that!

I hope you all (whoever is out there-cue Twilight Zone music) are having a great week and can look at life and just laugh hysterically because that is all you can do sometimes!

Miss Jensen, what if I barfed right now?

I'm sure everyone who is reading this knows that I teach junior high and in that place you have to be tougher than a marine and ready to shoot from the hip at all times! Using the 'Stink Eye' is now an art for me...and I love it!



Here is a compilation of the funniest, best, weirdest things my students have said.

"Are you even old enough to teach us?"

"I'm not tardy; I just had an emergency in the bathroom!" (I did not ask questions)

"If you don't give me an A I'm switching out of your stupid class." (Said the student with a D, I said PLEASE!!!)

"If I slip you a $20 can my grade go up?" (This kid was dead serious!)

"I like that girl, can you please tell her for me?" (Not smooth kid, not smooth.)

Girl: "Miss Jensen, how old are you?"
Me: "23, why do you ask?"
Girl: "Do you have a boyfriend?"
Me: "Nope."
Girl: "Don't you think you should get one?"
Me: "Trust me honey, I think that everyday."

"Can I punch him in the face?" (I wanted to say yes so badly!)

"I kissed a girl and my mom called me a slut! She was serious, but she doesn't know I kissed her FIVE times!"

"Miss Jensen, if you ever get fired, I'm gonna light the school on fire."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but you remind me of Hermione. I'm gonna call you Miss Granger."

"If you don't let me go get a drink then we're so not best buddies anymore!"

Boy: "Miss Jensen, you're dank."
Me: "What does that mean?"
Boy: "Really good weed."
I walked away.

Hopefully this list will get longer and funnier! Maybe it's only funny to me, oh well! Sorry about that. Teaching has been a crazy adventure so far. Some days it makes me the happiest I've ever been. Other days I want to put every 15 year old on an island until they are done going through puberty. I can say the same thing 10,000 times and some kids will still get the complete opposite of what I'm trying to say. On a daily basis I encounter tears, BO, and yelling, but also laughter, light bulbs going off, and thank yous. I have become the biggest fan at the boy's and girl's basketball games. Kids who were always really shy or scared of me now say, "Did you see my basket?" And then will volunteer to answer questions in class. I just pray everyday that I am getting through to at least one student. I haven't had any death threats yet, only a few I hate yous or you're gays. And I think today I can say I love being 'Miss Jensen'...but who knows what I'll say tomorrow.

Christmas Time is Here!

So...I don't really know what I want to write about, but since I'm allowed to ramble here goes.
I absolutely love Christmas time; the snow, hot chocolate, and cute boots. But to me it never really feels like Christmas until I go home. Tomorrow morning I will finally get to Montana. It seems like I have been looking forward to going home for FOREVER. Even though it will be a pretty short break, I can't wait to be with my family because I have the greatest family ever! (They won't believe I said this cuz sometimes I'm pretty cranky)
Here's what I'm looking forward to (in order of importance):
FOOD-I am so sick of cooking for myself
Acting like a kid instead of being in charge of kids
Movies
Shopping (maybe I can talk my parents into buying me more cute boots)
Laughing until I cry because my fam is insane
Crying just because I can
Not dealing with stinky kids who whine all the time
Getting family pictures (we haven't taken them in an eternity)
Playing with my nephew

I am hoping this break will be just what I need. I am going bonkers and I think if I had to teach for one more day a child would die. School was canceled today which made me happy...kinda. I had already driven over 45 minutes to get there and they didn't decide to cancel school until 7:45; school starts at 8:00. To protest that I had to go to school and then come straight home, I slept the day away. I was sticking it to the man by not doing any school work. Well, I better go pack. If you know me then you know that packing is not one of my strengths. I tend to make my suitcases weigh 75 pounds without even realizing it and without packing everything I want to.

As my girl Tracey would say PEACE AND BLESSINGS

AHHH!!

So here is what I look like on the outside:

Calm, cool, collected; you'd think I've got it together...

FALSE

Here's what my insides look like:

I feel as though I am always on the verge of a serious meltdown. Teaching junior high is a lot harder than it sounds. I am sometimes up all night worrying about how my lesson is gonna go, or wondering if a certain student will be at school or if his family problems will keep him home again.

To be honest, I would love to be going through finals week right now. I'm probs the weirdest person around. I have forgotten what it feels like to be a college kid. I wish I could have a week where I was back taking classes and staying up until all hours of the night. Instead, here I am counting the minutes until my 9:00 bed time. WHAT HAVE I BECOME? Oh yeah, an adult...barf. That's how I feel about that. Don't get me wrong, I adore most of my 230+ students, but sometimes I wish I could turn back the clock and play for a little bit longer. I'm at such a weird spot in life. I'm on my own, but don't want to be. I have a real life job, but it scares the crud out of me daily. I yearn for a social life, but don't have the time or energy to put in the effort that I need to. So what does all of that mean? I just do my best everyday to make it without crying. I try to laugh until it hurts because that makes everything better, even if only for a little while. I talk to my mama and daddy everyday because they keep me grounded and moving forward. In the end, the best you can do is try...and that's about all I can do right now.

I guess what I'm trying to say is life is kinda hard and I'm sorry to my long lost friends. Here's a shout out/ apology to you. I'm not dead, just REALLY busy. I would rather be playing with you instead of telling pubescent boys to quit hitting each other and stop distracting the girls from getting their work done. But I know that it is all worth it! I am going through growing pains right now and that just means I'll come out the other side better, stronger, and hopefully a lot closer to the Lord.

Well...here goes!

It's Friday night at 10:43 and I decided there would never be a better time to jump on the band wagon that we call blogging! I have no idea what I'm doing or what I am supposed to say, but here goes. The following is a list of things I learned today.
1. A lot of times I am the only one who thinks I'm funny, but as long as someone is laughing I'm ok.
2. I really miss my family right now. I wish I had a time machine to speed up the next 10 days so I could just get home already.
3. Being a junior high teacher is an adventure...you never know what is going to happen. Today I got hit in the face with a soccer ball while I was supervising a before school game. It didn't feel very awesome at all and my face was bright red for an hour.
Well, that's all I've got. Now I'll just sit by my phone waiting for Prince Charming to call...I'm thinking that means I'll probs be on my butt all night.