Miss Jensen, what if I barfed right now?

I'm sure everyone who is reading this knows that I teach junior high and in that place you have to be tougher than a marine and ready to shoot from the hip at all times! Using the 'Stink Eye' is now an art for me...and I love it!



Here is a compilation of the funniest, best, weirdest things my students have said.

"Are you even old enough to teach us?"

"I'm not tardy; I just had an emergency in the bathroom!" (I did not ask questions)

"If you don't give me an A I'm switching out of your stupid class." (Said the student with a D, I said PLEASE!!!)

"If I slip you a $20 can my grade go up?" (This kid was dead serious!)

"I like that girl, can you please tell her for me?" (Not smooth kid, not smooth.)

Girl: "Miss Jensen, how old are you?"
Me: "23, why do you ask?"
Girl: "Do you have a boyfriend?"
Me: "Nope."
Girl: "Don't you think you should get one?"
Me: "Trust me honey, I think that everyday."

"Can I punch him in the face?" (I wanted to say yes so badly!)

"I kissed a girl and my mom called me a slut! She was serious, but she doesn't know I kissed her FIVE times!"

"Miss Jensen, if you ever get fired, I'm gonna light the school on fire."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but you remind me of Hermione. I'm gonna call you Miss Granger."

"If you don't let me go get a drink then we're so not best buddies anymore!"

Boy: "Miss Jensen, you're dank."
Me: "What does that mean?"
Boy: "Really good weed."
I walked away.

Hopefully this list will get longer and funnier! Maybe it's only funny to me, oh well! Sorry about that. Teaching has been a crazy adventure so far. Some days it makes me the happiest I've ever been. Other days I want to put every 15 year old on an island until they are done going through puberty. I can say the same thing 10,000 times and some kids will still get the complete opposite of what I'm trying to say. On a daily basis I encounter tears, BO, and yelling, but also laughter, light bulbs going off, and thank yous. I have become the biggest fan at the boy's and girl's basketball games. Kids who were always really shy or scared of me now say, "Did you see my basket?" And then will volunteer to answer questions in class. I just pray everyday that I am getting through to at least one student. I haven't had any death threats yet, only a few I hate yous or you're gays. And I think today I can say I love being 'Miss Jensen'...but who knows what I'll say tomorrow.